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Guest behavior

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Guest behavior

Hi! I am writing from Colombia!

Something happened to me last weekend with a touring cyclist from Poland.

Even though I have my Warm Shower address in Sevilla (Valle del Cauca), we agreed to spend one night in my family’s coffee farm between Calarca and Armenia (Quindío) - (Armenia is 60 Km far from Sevilla).

First, he arrived to Armenia on last Thursday afternoon, because I wanted to meet him there to continue pedaling together to the coffee farm. I also invited some friends of mine. We spent a nice night in the farm eating and telling stories, and listening to the polish singing some songs while played his guitar.
Next day (on Friday), we woke up early and packed all our stuffs, and started our ride to Sevilla (The polish and me only, my friends stayed in Armenia). It was a long day on the bike; we arrived at 5 o’clock to my home in Sevilla. I introduced him my cousin and aunt, had dinner and went to bed because we were really tired.
On Saturday), I woke up a little bit later because I wanted to rest well, I realized that the Polish was awake since early morning, he was reading a book and drinking a cup of coffee. We spent the day touring throughout Sevilla and took his bike with the mechanic to do some settings. In the afternoon we stayed at home resting. We received an invitation from my friends in Armenia to eat roast meat, I talked to him about the idea, and after thinking he agreed with me and friends, so we got back to Armenia but traveling by bus at night.

Note: I want to highlight that this man is very quiet, sometimes very serious, but until that moment he had been very kind, and very thankful with me, family and friends.

All was going well, but after we ate he started to show a strange behavior, he move away from us, and looked like a sad person, we asked him what was happening but he didn’t say anything. So, I decided to get back go home (Armenia) to sleep; I asked him at home “hey man what’s happening?” I didn´t receive an answer.

On Sunday morning we got back Sevilla, I was really worried about his behavior, he didn´t pronounce a word in the travel to Sevilla. We arrived home, he packed, and he didn’t want to drink a cup of coffee I offered, and he also wanted to eat breakfast that my aunt offered him kindly. I think he was angry for something due to his face expressions (I hope to stay wrong), but he didn´t take time to explain me what was happening. He got out of home and didn´t say thanks to my family, even he didn´t say bye; the only thing he said was “I’m going to continue my travel to Tulua”. I said “ok, but tell me what´s happening? Are you sick? Tell me what’s happening! My family is really worried about your attitude!” He looked at me, and got on his bike and departed without saying anything!

What should I do in this case?
I am really concerned about the behavior of this man in my home, because he affected the peace in my family. We always have been good people, open minded, and this case has affected my relationship with my family! They told me that I shouldn’t receive more cyclists at home to avoid that kind of negative situations!

Would you give me an advice?
Should I provide a negative feedback telling what happened?

Thanks!

Best,
Mauro from Colombia.

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That's certainly very odd

That's certainly very odd behaviour - I can only guess at the reasons behind it (something cross culturally misinterpreted? a sudden attack of homesickness?) regardless, the fact that he didn't offer an explanation for his behaviour (or even invent something) was fairly inconsiderate taking into account the concern he caused you and your family. For that reason I would consider writing at least a neutral reference just outlining what happened.

In the meantime, perhaps you might find this therapeutic:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQ397q6JjAQ

WS Member Imagen de WS Member
Hello

Thanks for your comment and advice!

Best,
Mauro.

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Guest behavior

Hello
I suppose he suddenly feels again the call of traveling. Some travelers are like that. They have to move nearly each day, and when they stop, quickly they become sad and stop relationship with human beings.
regards Pierre

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Hi!

Thanks for your comment.

Do you think that when a person show that attitude it´s good? What do you think is the best way for resolving that kind of situations?

Best,
Mauro.

WS Member Imagen de WS Member
Does his previous feedback

Does his previous feedback give any type of indication if this happened before? I agree his behavior seems strange. He should have at least said something, even if it was not totally accurate, i.e. I just want to get on the road. Best, John

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Guest behavior

Hello

Let him in peace, pack and move. After all he didn't do nothing wrong, And why would a host ask anything to a guest, but be quiet and clean and honest.
Remember a traveler is tired, far in his mind and way of life from others, so it is rather difficult for him to adapt. He is looking for staying in a place and rest and read a book or write his diary, And he could also have some dificulties he doesn't like to share.
I would ever remember that dificulty in Australia. Very nice and helpfull hosts, but always asking me "what are yours plans today" as us they always need to do something. So my plans was to tell I am doing some tour around by bike, and in reality goes straight to a pub downtown all afternoon to read my book, thing they won't understand.
Also He is Polish, that means you don't speak his native language. So He always has to make an effort to understand and speak, which had certainly been very heavy with your friends and family around. He certainly get a headhache and burden rather quickly. And so he just get off, in some way, to the travel.
In the end maybe you were asking too much, inviting him here and there. He didn't want to desapoint you saying "no", but in the end He just run away, first in his mind, and then early in the morning.
It's happens to me, move away from hosts and stop to camp 10km away, to get a real quiet day.

In the end, when I get some strange behavior from a guest, I always consider it comes from misunderstanding, and doesn't worry a lot about. I ask 2 times if everything is OK, if I can help, and then I let the guest following his way.
And I wouldn't let a recommandation, as I don't understand what happened, and I wouldn't like to say something wrong.

Regards Pierre

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Hi!

Agree Pierre.

But he also speaks a really good Spanish (my native language too). He spent a year living in Venezuela. I think that if you´re a guest at least you have to say "thanks", he didn´t do!. But this situations are experiences that you have to learn about, to face future touring cyclist behavior. Furthermore, I think that if you are a guest, you have to adapt to the host and family rules, don´t you think?

I don´t like to bother my guests, but they have to show respect as we do with them.

Thanks for your appreciation!

Best,
Mauro.

WS Member Imagen de WS Member
Guest behavior

Hello,
Leave feedback that's neutral. And a brief story. And maybe chalk it up to a "cross-cultural experience" for all of you.
I can identify with the wish to simply do nothing for a day or two if I just pedaled several days across an unfamiliar country. But that's me.
(And I'd tell you, too. "I don't want to do anything today. Where can I vege-out in the sun?? (Or shade??)"
Gerhardt in Portland

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Being in someone else's shoes

We may never be able to see the burdens that other people are walking through. This person may be experiencing depression. I have ridden with others who have become homesick and had changes in mood and behavior because of this. Please don't personalize this because it may have nothing to do with you and your hospitality.

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As pointed out numerous times

As pointed out numerous times above it was not so much his mysterious change in behaviour but his refusal to respond to expressions of concern towards him (literally meeting questions with complete silence) which caused so much concern and bewilderment to those around him. He could've feigned a headache or anything if he didn't want to talk about whatever it was, but responding multiple times with nothing but silence to those whose only concern was that he feel comfortable and at ease is plain rude - whether it be depression, homesickness or whatever.

Future hosts surely deserve to know about this behaviour before making the decision to welcome him into their homes.

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