This is basically a rant, I guess.
I have been hosted at several adresses in Belgium, the United Kingdom and Germany and I really like to return this kind of favor graciously.
I have read the FAQ and it says: Say "no" to any hosting request if you're uncomfortable or for any other reasons.
Right now, I feel uncomfortable and have changed my status from available to non-available.
I am autistic and have been trying to be a good host.
I have hosted one person so far. She liked to stay at my appartment. So far so good.
However, my reasons for changing my status are three aborted hosting requests in a row for asking hospitality.
On the first two occasions I have cleaned my entire appartment, pumped up an airbed for the guest and prepared by doing some extra shopping (drink, meals, extra bread etc.), just like a good hotel manager would do. Hygiene ready, bed ready, food and drinks ready, everything ready. Then, at the last moments, these people aborted their request, wishing me all the best and so on.
The third time the request was aborted at an earlier moment and I did not make all these preparations, but still, I found myself to feel troubled about expecting someone and then have to "switch off" this expectation. If you know about autism, you know how difficult this can be for autistic people.
Right now, I feel kind of guilty. I am expecting other people to host me and I am not willing to return the favor. It does not feel fair. But I feel that I just can't handle all these aborted requests all the time. I can't sleep because of this.