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conditional offers "use of kitchen" and "laundry"

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WS Member Imagen de WS Member
conditional offers "use of kitchen" and "laundry"

I had a guest that misunderstood the "use of kitchen" and when arrived, before the person in charge for that day began to cook, he began to cook without asking anything. I thought he was preparing some kind of surprise, so I continued to prepare the table while other people prepared dinner (delayed a bit since he had occupied two of the fires).
And I saw at moment of serving that he had prepared the food for himself, with his ingredients, and did not accepted anything from our meal, nor offered anything from his one.

I told him clearly that was not happy about this. Next day at 1930 (dinner already in phase of preparation) called telling that would not have come back for dinner, but arrived during our dinner and went immediately to bed.

Should i remove the use of kitchen or there is a way to specify "you can use the kitchen, if you want to prepare a meal for all the people that is present" ?

[Note from editor: Topic was moved to a better forum. 2014-09-22]

WS Member Imagen de WS Member
and about the laundry? some

and about the laundry? some people pretend to make laundry even if they arrive at 2030 and leave at 730, and complaining that i have no dryer to dy it overnight (i just wait a windy day, i have also for winter a "slow" drier, but it cannot dry overnight).

WS Member Imagen de WS Member
I'm brand new at hosting but

I'm brand new at hosting but when I put "access to kitchen" I was thinking that it meant that the person would bring his or her own food and cook it to eat on his own. I would not expect to share the meal.

If I am able, I will provide the meals and the people can add to them if they wish. IF I am not able to provide the meals or if things are arranged at the last minute, I plan to suggest where they can get an inexpensive meal or a take out meal that can be eaten at my house.

If someone were to be here for a few days and I provided all of the food, I understand that they might want to cook a meal using their food or go out for lunch or supper and pay for my meal.

If I lived in a place where we shared the cooking for the whole household - for instance, among a group of adults sharing a place - then I would expect to make food for the cyclists or to offer them a time and space where they could make their own food without disrupting the household.

As I said, I am new at this and have only hosted two couples. One couple cooked and ate their own supper with food that they bought at the grocery store just before arriving to the house. I offered them my food for a better breakfast. The other couple were planning ahead and I had food for them and we ate together. They took me out for an inexpensive supper.

WS Member Imagen de WS Member
agree.

I'm with you here.
I would expect that what a host offers (freely!), should be accepted gratefully and what is not available - well, it just is not there. No need to complain.

On the other hand, I would certainly not expect, as a guest, that I am to cook for everybody if I am offered the use of the kitchen. Use of kitchen as I understand it, means the use of the appliances and maybe the pots etc. to facilitate my own cooking. UNLESS I am either invited to join or told that I am expected to do something different.

It is a very nice gesture of your guests to take you out! yet, I would not expect that.

I am totally new here, too, and am surprised that this mentality of expecting-full-service-for-nothing is growing among the cycling-community as well. Ah, well, I will see what will happen with my first guests :)

WS Member Imagen de Koga
expectations..

I understand your feelings. I guess it is almost impossible to open one's inner circles to complete strangers and not experiencing some "surprises ". I've had three different travellers visiting. A French couple gave the impression of being an interested part of my household. We cooked their and my supplies together and also the beer consumption were fair split. Two other visitors might as well have taken a hotel except for the price and the "home atmosphere" provided by their friendly & allserving host.. One women were a little disapointed not served any fish. According to a, me unknown, cultural preference of Denmark as a "fish country". I hope the all free and wellserved stewed steak with one liter beer did compensate her disapointment... As a single traveller i could also cook and eat for my self. Not wanting to disturb a host. I would try to make it clear in advance.
As it is your home i suggest you write it clear that you prefer the kitchen used for collective cooking & dining.

WS Member Imagen de WS Member
As a host I can understand

As a host I can understand where you are coming from, but as a cyclist...

I never assume that I will be fed by my hosts. It has been my experience that most have not offered food, so I always come prepared. And depending on how far I have ridden, headwinds, etc, I may not be in a great mood to socialize. This doesn't necessarily mean a cyclist is rude, but he or she may just need to decompress and relax. Language may also be a barrier.

So as a host, I don't have expectations of my guests. We always offer a great cooked meal, and usually offer our guest bedroom. We have even taking guests kayaking. But if they just need to rest, isolate, and regroup, that is OK, too.

What I don't understand about guests is after having such a great experience, they fail to leave feedback for the host. For me, that's worse than a cyclist isolating and regrouping.

WS Member Imagen de WS Member
anyway I have removed the two

anyway I have removed the two offers, to avoid problems (even laundry is a problem, someone even today [albeit mildly] complained that i did not had the drier !

WS Member Imagen de WS Member
Education & local habits

ehm... very interesting ...

I am getting a bit afraid ... but will still leave all options.

As already said, it is mainly a matter of "national's" habit ...

For instance, in some countries, before taking a cigarette, you would automatically invite others to take one.
On others, it is definitely normal to smoke on your own.

Doing so in China for instance, and I believe in most of South of Europe and Middle East, this would be considered as very very rude.

... but Education also do matter ...

Regarding food, in China, you would never ever cook on your own and not inviting others ... even if you do not wish to eat, they will force you , no kidding !

Good tip: Your Chinese host will invite you for the meals. Never leave you plate empty. They will keep filling it.

Whereas in Switzerland, leaving a plate half empty is considered as very rude ! You are supposed to hand over a clean plate (use bread to clean it ! )

I would be very interested receiving feedbacks about travelers that were not happy with their chinese host.

WS Member Imagen de WS Member
Use of kitchen

I too list use of kitchen in my profile. So far with no regrets. I always try to have an evening meal prepared for my guest when they pedal up. But often in the morning I leave
before my guests are even up. I tell them the night before and leave them a note in the morning to help themselves to anything they want for breakfast. So far anyone who has taken me up on my offer has cleaned up after themselves and no one has cleaned me out of house and home.
One time a couple from Poland asked if they could spend a 2nd evening. I was glad to host them. She told me that since I made Sunday eve dinner she would make Monday's. I asked her what she needed. She said "nothing I will use whatever I find" . Fine by me. When I got she was making the 3 of us a wonderful supper with a Polish taste from simple ingredients from my pantry plus some fresh produce they had with them. Not often this single guy gets to come home to homemade meal and not have to lift a finger.
Warmshower guests provide the best experiences , that is why I enjoy hosting them.

WS Member Imagen de WS Member
Guests can be clumsy in the k.

I find guests ( all kinds, not just WS) can be clumsy & heavy handed in the kitchen. I use quality cooking implements, especially my knives, and I notice people don't know how to clean & dry them. At times, guests have, through ignorance, destroyed various items - not often , but it still hurts to lose kitchen tools you may have had for years .and which may be expensive or impossible to replace.

People in my kitchen also make extra and unnecessary work, having no idea how to clean up after themselves.

So, I don't mind making a meal for my Guests - that's "meal" singular - and I will also clean up after them - once. After that, I'd expect them to start "pulling their weight".

I have to say, the idea of a Guest preparing food for themselves alone, when other people are present, is bizarre to me. But WS is nothing but diversity !